you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
