just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
