How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
