id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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