in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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