he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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