Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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