this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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