We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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