How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
