Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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