He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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