Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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