I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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