office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
