i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Farmville is her only friend.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
