She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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