How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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