I am spending my child support on dildos
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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