the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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