Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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