she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
