Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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