hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
