everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
