Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
