he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
