he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I got inside last night via doggy door
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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