this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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