he puts the penis in happiness.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
