Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
