Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
