South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
