im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
