Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she pinky promised me she was 18
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
