just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
