Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
