I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
