i need an iv and a liver transplant
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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