3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
