You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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