you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
