you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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