thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
