What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just found puke in my bra..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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