i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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