I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
