My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
