apparently the secret to your success is patron
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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