You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
